The Real Garden Blues

[Evangelion]

"As I open the white, slightly tarnished doors of Jordy's Garden fence, I hear the chirping of crickets and birds, almost as a warning to stop and go back, but I know that I must persist and put a stop to Jordan's evil ways.""Grabbing the knob of the door, I open it. I enter the house and see 10-15 men, all standing around, holding bottles of lube. Some of them even have no pants on, so I must block my eyes as to not have them burned from their sockets. They all stop to stare at me, but I drop a cloaked gas grenade from my trench coat and kick it toward the huddle of seemingly gay men.""Charging forward to the stairs, I can hear the coughs of the naked men, shouting 'OMGWTFLOL!11!111!!!'. Going up the stairs I confront a guy dressed like a samurai named Musashi. 'You will not reach him, turn back now or I shall be forced to kill you...' he said as he drew his plastic lightsaber from it's sheath. Drawing my Super Soaker LX6800, the samurai made a horizontal slash at my head, but got the saber stuck in the wall. 'Heh...' I thought to myself. I shot the silly samurai right in the eyes with my super soaker and proceeded to climb the stairs.""At the top of the stairs, I spotted another of Jordan's cronies pointing a can of silly string at me with fierce intent. Knowing not what to do, I almost froze. A second later, I heard the shot of a super soaker from behind me. I turned around and saw that it was Teo. 'Why are you doing this?' I asked. 'Heh, he owes me $5.' replied Teo.""We continued down the hall towards the steps to the third floor. As Teo started to open a door on the right of the hall, another cronie of Jordy, named GuessWho, managed to shoot Teo right in the chest area with a slingshot full of little pebbles. 'No!' I shouted, as I lept to the floor and shot the culprit with half a tank of water, right between the eyes." 'Teo!' I said, going to his aid. 'It's ok, my time to go...' Teo told me. 'Jordan, he's...on the top floor. I was waiting for you to come back and...' said Teo with his dieing words.""I flew up the stairs, coming to the hallway of the top floor. I ran down the hall towards the big doors at the end. Finally reaching them, I busted through the lock.""The room was huge, covered with plants of all different shapes and sizes. At the back of the room, I could see a man, sitting in a chair, petting a poinsettia. The man was Jordy Tha Last Doffa.""'Looks like you've finally found your way here.' said Jordan. "'Heh, looks like I have...' I replied.""'Let's end this, Eva.' Jordan said""'As you wish...' I said.""I held up my Super Soaker and aimed for Jordan's head, but missed due to my eyesight being blurred from seeing all the lubed up naked men at the entrance.""I charged up the stairs towards Jordan as he threw a small knife at me. The knife got lodged in my shoulder, but did not stop me. When I reached Jordan, he drew his plastic Hercules sword and swung at me with such furiousness that would make the God's shake. I blocked the attack with the side of the gun and it sent both of our weapons flying.""Kneeling down, I grabbed his sword while he put his foot on my super soaker. 'C'mon...' said Jordan.""What felt like almost an eternity later, I threw his sword up at him and he threw my gun to me. Just as he caught the sword, he began to swing from the ground up. I quickly aimed my gun at his chest and shot..""Jordan fell to the ground, but not before he left a big gash across my mid-section. Looking up at the sky, I remembered what HanK had told me..."'It's all a...dream...'.'Yeah, just a dream...'"The sun shown brightly as I walked down the stairs, one step at a time. I could see the rest of the naked men looking at me, still pointing the bottles of lube at me.""I looked up at the sky and smiled..."'Bang.'

[Jordan]

If there was an award for writing the best story, and stealing material, Evan would win it.This has Jordan's Gardening Seal of approval all over it.

[GuessWho17]

"The sun shown brightly as I walked down the stairs, one step at a time. I could see the rest of the naked men looking at me, still pointing the bottles of lube at me." "I looked up at the sky and smiled..." 'Bang.'Well, lets just say this is quite self-explanitory since were talking about you, Evan.Also, I threw h8 at teo? Eep!

[Jordan]

"The sun shown brightly as I walked down the stairs, one step at a time. I could see the rest of the naked men looking at me, still pointing the bottles of lube at me." "I looked up at the sky and smiled..." 'Bang.'Well, lets just say this is quite self-explanitory since were talking about you, Evan.Also, I threw h8 at teo? Eep!EXTREME PWNAGEThey should make that stuff only accessible to doctors, and pharmacists because it could be bad for Evan's health

[Evangelion]

"The sun shown brightly as I walked down the stairs, one step at a time. I could see the rest of the naked men looking at me, still pointing the bottles of lube at me." "I looked up at the sky and smiled..." 'Bang.'Well, lets just say this is quite self-explanitory since were talking about you, Evan.Also, I threw h8 at teo? Eep!*throws down Iron Katana and leaves the Tavern*"Good luck soloing your quests, buddy!"

[GuessWho17]

"The sun shown brightly as I walked down the stairs, one step at a time. I could see the rest of the naked men looking at me, still pointing the bottles of lube at me." "I looked up at the sky and smiled..." 'Bang.'Well, lets just say this is quite self-explanitory since were talking about you, Evan.Also, I threw h8 at teo? Eep!*throws down Iron Katana and leaves the Tavern*"Good luck soloing your quests, buddy!" :evil:Does this mean that Ralph has free acess to come and RAPE me? EEP"I looked up at the sky and smiled..."Harrr

[Jordan]

The thing I get a kick out of, is the fact that everyone else is using toys, and I'm using a real knife, and a plastic sword that leaves big gashes.

[Bane]

The thing I get a kick out of, is the fact that everyone else is using toyssee, thats all i saw. and i laughed.

[Darth Bob]

We need a fan fiction archive and or forum. But what are we fans of? Ourselves?Of course we are.

[Vauce]

"Kneeling down, I grabbed his sword while he put his foot on my super soaker. 'C'mon...' said Jordan.""What felt like almost an eternity later, I threw his sword up at him and he threw my gun to me. Just as he caught the sword, he began to swing from the ground up. I quickly aimed my gun at his chest and shot.."Cowboy bebop to the max