Various Tales From Grumpy
A Fan Letter
Dear Grumpy,I am writing this letter in the hopes that you would read it, and understand my deep love, and excitement for each of your adventures! Many, many times, your stories have brought comic relief to my life, and has eased the pains of average life. I delight in losing myself in each story, that I can relate to. Your average Joe responses are what give me the strength to carry on each day.Contine your work, please? I will continually be enjoying myself by reading these gems. Again, thank you for sharing this with the world. You are truly an asset to our society. Jordan-Doffa
And then Akon was like, Wooohooo! YEEHOOO!
Grumpy's Beautiful Day in the NeighborhoodGrumpy's main location is right in the middle of an active merchant neighborhood. Stores, workshops, factories all jammed up next to each other; customers and their mounts running all over the place; neon-colored merchant signs with namessolongtheytakeupalloftheviewingarea. Grumpy really likes his neighborhood, good traffic, quite a few active merchants and it's close to a respectable fishing hole.Grumpy wants to make his neighborhood like Disneyworld and force any innocent passersby into spending all their credits before they're allowed to leave, but hasn't figured out the logistics on this yet. If he had the lot space, he'd buy out the slacker merchants' shops and turn them into billboards for his store, but his gf/business partner says it would be stupid to pay for 8 accounts just for the billboards. His partner lacks vision at times.The other day, Grumpy was out checking the neighborhood shops for his personal SWG needs, (NOT to price check...this time, anyways), when he noticed that a neighbor had changed their sign to reflect new offerings. Great! Grumpy ran right over to see what was up.DENIED! Grumpy couldn't get into the shop. Banned again. W-T-H, Grumpy had never been to this asshat's shop before, why was he banned already?!?! He can understand why some people ban him when he stands around in front of their vendors with his clipboard and pencil out, but this was getting ridiculous.Grumpy sent his gf/business partner over to check the store. (It took quite a bit of coaxing to get her to do this, by the way.) She had been banned too!!! Pre-emptive bans for Grumpy and the partner. So disturbing and yet strangely mesmerizing.Grumpy loaded up the stealth alt and ported over. Fortunately, the stealth alt had not been banned yet, or else Grumpy would have become paranoid, errr, more paranoid. Seemed like a typical shop, by that Grumpy means...boring compared to Grumpy's credit-friendly environs. Grumpy couldn't find the vendor with the new offerings, so he wandered around the shop a bit and ran right into the OWNER!Now, in hindsight, there was no way for the owner to know this was Grumpy's stealth alt, but Grumpy was so paranoid and unnerved, that Grumpy was convinced he was busted and was about to be sent on a fast trip outside. After what seemed like minutes of a cold stare, and was probably only seconds, Grumpy recovered and inquired about ... (think think think) SLICED WEAPONS! Grumpy was directed to the Vendor: Sliced Weapons (doh!) which he pretended to browse with great interest.Grumpy called out a few prices and stats to his gf/business partner, trying to make good use of his time before his stealth alt got banned. The owner kept such a sharp eye on Grumpy's alt that Grumpy felt like a yo yo dawg with baggy pants in a CD store. Hey dawg, where b the eminemenemem shiaz ya mo fo kat? (Grumpy is getting good at being kewl..he made up that "kat" part!) Mumbling something about needing to run a few missions before he could buy anything, Grumpy took his leave.Grumpy peeked over his alt's shoulder to make sure he wasn't being watched and scuttled back to his own shop, which is warm and inviting and does not have any ad BARKING vendors. He swapped over to his architect, and was so satisfied with a job well done, he even answered a few price check emails from yo dawgs. Grumpy really needs some billboards now, right in front of that asshat's shop, directing all passersby to Grumpy's store; he'll have to sell that idea to the gf/business partner first tho.He had about an hour before the evening sales rush, so he headed down to the local fishing hole to pull a few out. It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.The Grumpy Master Architect