Best Quotes Ever?
Best Quotes Ever?
From Saving SilvermanJ.D.:Can i get you a drink?Judith: Scotch on the rocks please.J.D.: Would you like ice with that?From Dumb and Dumber:Harry: i sold some stuff Lloyd: stuff Harry: what kinda stuff Lloyd: You know, a few baseball cards, sack of marbles, ::cough:: Peety Harry: You sold my bird to a blind kid, Lloyd, Peety didn't even have a head Lloyd: Harry, I took care of itFrom Dumb and Dumber:Harry: Nice skis. Girl: Thanks. Harry: They yours? Girl: yep. Harry: Both of them? Girl: yeah... Harry: cool!Deuce Biggalo: Male JigaloDeuce Bigalow: There must be some kind of mistake.Jabba the slut: Did you say STEAK??? Deuce Bigalow: No, MIS-take.Jabba the slut: Oh, see, now you got me all excited.Deuce Bigalow: I'm gay. Jabba the slut: Well how gay are you? Deuce Bigalow: Very very gay. You must have called the Very Gay Escort Service. Jabba the slut: Ah shit you see sometimes my fingers swell up and I can't hit the numbers properly. They should make a phone for full figured girls. Deuce Bigalow: So, what should we do? Jabba the slut: Oh, cakes and pies, cakes and pies! Deuce Bigalow: Which pie has the most sugar? Jabba the slut: Peach cobbler. Deuce Bigalow: Ah, you win again, that's three games to one! Jabba the slut: Fast food trivia's my game baby!From Baseketball:Remer: We win, and they get the chicks. That sucks, dude.Coop: I'm telling you, it's jobs. We gotta get jobs. Then we get the khakis. Then we get the chicks.Remer: Dude, I know you're feeling jealous right now. Don't blame me because I have a sweet ass! I can't help it!From Baseketball:hahahahha this one is greatRemer: You're bed is over here.[indicates a dog bed]Squeak: Dude, that is so fuckin' weak! How am I supposed to get a chick in that?Coop: Oh, don't worry, dude. You couldn't get a chick if you had a hundred dollar bill hanging out of your zipper.From Waynes World:"If you're going to spew,spew into this""Yes, I'll have the cream of sumyungai.""a sphincter says what?""A gun rack? What am I going to do with a gun rack? I don't own Agun, let alone many guns which would be needed to neccessitate a gun rack.""Benjamin is no one's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be prailines and dick."lol
They say ignorance is bliss, i say your just plain stupid.
You can't have a respectable quotes list without listing a few from The Simpsons (at least not while I'm around) so here you go:Lisa:I still believe in protecting animal's rights, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking your barbecue, dad. Homer: That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too. Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.Homer: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems![Homer has been thrown out of an all-you-can-eat restaurant for eating too much.] Lionel Hutz: This is the most blatant case of false advertising since my suit against the movie The Neverending Story! Homer Simpson: So, do you think I have a case? Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I don't use the word 'hero' lightly, but you are the greatest hero in American history. Homer Simpson: Woohoo! Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. Rev. Lovejoy: Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and/or roll.Homer: But wait. You can't kill me for being Krusty. I'm not him. I'm Homer Simpson. Fat Tony: The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club? Homer: Uh... actually my name is Barney. Barney Gumble. Les: The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking pictures of my sister? Homer: Uh, actually my real name is uh, think Krusty, think, Joe Valachi. Louie: The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about organized crime? Homer: Benedict Arnold! Legs: The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British? Homer: D'oh! That should do it for now, I think. List saved. 
There's a massive list of Simpsons quotes here: http://www.imdb.com/Quotes?0096697 
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Eat_More_Goats
- Posts: 320
- Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2022 8:24 pm
Robert A. Heinlein Quotes! This guy is my other hero (besides Kak and the Wasks)A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.Belief gets in the way of learning. It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired. An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
"reward your curiousity with new vanilla coke" is the best commercial quote ever!from spaceballs:dark helmet: what happened?colonel sandurz: they must have hyper jets on that thing!dark helmet: and what do we have on this, a quezenart?!sandurz: no sir!helmet: well find them catch them!sandurz: prepare to jump to lightspeed!helmet: no no no light speed is too slowsandurz: light speed too slow?helmet: yes, we'll have to go straight to. LUDICROUS SPEED!sandurz: ludicrous speed? sir we've never gone that fast before, i dont think the ship can take it!helmet: whats a matter colonel sandurz, CHICKEN?sandurz: prepare ship *clears throught (spelling?)* prepare ship for ludicrous speed. fasten all seat belts. seal all entrances and exits. close all stores in the mall. cancel the 3 ring circus-helmet: gimme that you petty excuse for an officer. NOW HERE THIS! LUDICROUS SPEED-sandurz: sir hadnt you better buckle up first?helmet: ah buckle this. ludicrous speed. GO!*ship goes really fast*helmet: what have i done.. my brains are going into my feet..barf: what the hell was that?lone starr: spaceball 1.. they;ve gone to plaid!helmet: stop this thing!sandurz: we cant stop we have to slow down first..helmet: bull shit, i order you stop!*ship stops, helmet flies into wall*sandurz: are you ok sir?helmet: yeah... are we stopped?sandurz: yes sir.helmet: good.... say.. let's take a five minute break.. smoke if you got em...and yes i remembered that
